What Are the Best Tips for Technical Consulting?

Listening technology (attending) is an important technology of psychological counseling and the basis of the counseling process. It refers to the process of listening carefully, positively, and on the basis of acceptance, and actively leading, actively thinking, clarifying issues, building relationships, and participating in help. .

Chinese name: Listening technology

Applied discipline: psychology

Listening to technology concepts

The English word for listening is attending, with the meaning of participation, focus, and attention. Although translated into Chinese, "listening" is closer to the original meaning, but it is easily misunderstood as listening. Listening is not only to clarify the situation, but also to establish a relationship of consultation and visits. , While also helping the effect. Listening is the basis of the consultation process, a process of active guidance, active thinking, clarification of issues, relationship building, and participation in help.

Listening means that during the consultation process, the consultant's verbal and non-verbal behaviors reflect that the consultant is paying full attention to the verbal expression of the client, carefully reads the non-verbal behavior of the client, concerns, deplores and values the client's experience and is willing to accompany the client The beginning and end of the problem of heaven and sea (Chen Jinding, 2001).

Listening means that the consultant must learn to listen carefully to the visitor's speech, agree with his inner experience, accept his way of thinking, in order to understand the place and gain the trust and communication of the visitor (Che Wenbo, 2001).

Listening Technology Type

1.Physical and psychological listening

Physical listening means that during the consultation process, the consultant's full-body posture conveys his concerns about the visitor and is willing to listen and accompany him. Aigan proposed in 1994 that the focus and listening of the consultant's body includes the following five basic elements, referred to as SOLER (consisting of the first English letter of each word).

(1) Face the visitor (squarely). The consultant and the visitor sat on both sides of the coffee table at a 90 ° angle. With the buffer of the coffee table, give visitors a safe interpersonal space. Visitors will have enough space to move forward and back before they are willing to open their hearts.

(2) The body posture is open. Representing unconditional tolerance and acceptance, eliminating anxiety and anxiety of visitors. In addition, the consultant's open body posture will drive the visitor's physical and psychological openness. If the consultant's body shrinks and closes, the visitor will panic, shrink and become weak.

(3) The body is slightly leaning towards the visitor (lean). This posture conveys the consultant's concern for the visitor, and makes the visitor willing to open himself and dissect the inner part while being moved. If the consultant leans back and clings to the back of the chair, it will exude indifference and arrogance to the visitor, stifle the visitor's courage, and make the visitor unable to talk because of discouraged fear.

(4) Good eye contact. The eye contact of the consultant with the visitor conveyed his importance to the visitor. Visitors will feel courageous and willing to face any problems bravely when they feel the warmth and support from consultants. If the consultant's eyes flicker, it will make the visitor's eyes unable to condense, and his mind will be lost, and he will feel that although the consultant is with him, the mind has another part.

(5) Relaxed. The relaxed posture of the counselor conveys his calmness, and the visitor is naturally able to relax when infected by the posture of the counselor. If the consultant is very nervous, clenching his fists and frowning his eyes, it will make the client even more nervous.

Psychological listening means that the consultant not only listens to the language content of the visitor, but also pays attention to the tone of the tones in the language narration of the visitor, the level of sound, and the non-verbal behavior accompanying the visitor. The information contained in nonverbal behavior is often richer and more real than verbal behavior. Linguistic behavior is a pattern of habits that visitors can perceive, while non-verbal behavior is a pattern of habits that visitors don't notice. The habitual pattern that can be perceived is an adaptive response that is controlled by the visitor. It is comfortable but with false elements. The habitual pattern that is not perceived cannot be controlled by the visitor. Although it is unmodified and embarrassing, it is true and natural. It is the true voice and true confession of the visitor. Some visitors have mixed hearts, repeatedly stressing that they are not angry at all when talking about feelings about something, but their faces are flushed, their fists are clenched, and they are in a posture of fighting; some visitors have strong and powerful words, but physical Retreat and shrink. When listening to the narrative of the visitor, the consultant must carefully observe the physical movements of the visitor, so as to truly see through the visitor's inner world, to be in a place and feel the same, to allow the visitor to be moved by the understanding and companionship of the visitor, and to voluntarily remove the mask. Show your true colors and pour out your voice. ^[1]

2. Non-selective listening and selective listening

Non-selective listening means that consultants have little influence on the content of the talks. Instead, they allow the visitors to take the initiative and give the visitors ample time to talk. The consultant pays attention and responds. The purpose is to encourage and stimulate the visitors to freely. Tell in order to finally figure out what his problem is. It is mainly applicable to the consultation stage where the question of the visitor has not been clarified.

Selective listening means that the consultant chooses what he considers important from what the interviewer is saying. Selective listening is based on non-selective listening.

Because consultants have huge potential, even non-selective listening responses can be used to guide and direct visitors to specific information. There are two important reasons why non-selective listening becomes selective: first, the consultant may deliberately or inadvertently pay more attention to a certain aspect of the visitor when discussing certain issues; second, the visitor is in the consultation The content is quite extensive. It is impossible for a consultant to give the same attention to every topic. Some options are necessary.

The importance of listening to technology

Listening Technology Therapy Function

Ivey and Simek-Morgan noticed that listening can guide helpers to tell their own stories. This kind of confession itself has a cathartic effect, so it has a therapeutic function. In the process of telling their own stories, narrating their experiences and current experiences, visitors can construct their own status and give meaning and purpose to their lives. Good consultants listen to their stories in order to help visitors understand the meaning of these stories and explain how these stories promote or hinder their self-development. Telling stories can ease the mood of visitors who have been traumatized, whether they are young or old. The healing effect of listening becomes more apparent when the visitor's story contains difficulty or shame hidden behind it.

Listening technology to build a good consulting relationship

The consultant listens intently and shows interest in the subject of the visitor. When the visitor feels understood, valued and cared for and gains self-esteem, he will have a good first impression on the consultant and is willing to establish a good relationship with the consultant. Consulting relationship.

Listen to technology to understand the problem

Through patient listening, the counselor can understand the client's psychological problems and their root causes, and can work with the client to find a solution to the problem. Therefore, listening is the main way to understand the problem and is the first step in solving the problem.

Through patient listening, the consultant can have a greater opportunity to give the visitor correct judgment and intervention in the later stages of the consultation. Without listening as a basis, the underlying issues will be ignored, or inappropriate advice will be made, and consultations will be made at the wrong time.

Listening technology provides opportunities for self-growth

Visitors often come to consult because they are trapped by the problem and do not know how to solve it. Not only are they confused, they also lose confidence in themselves, they cannot accept others, they cannot even accept themselves, and they dare not face themselves.

Listening gives visitors a chance to organize their thoughts and help them sort out their problems. The consultant's listening can pass on the concerns and attention to the visitor, strengthen the visitor's strength and confidence, and give him the courage to face difficulties and face himself. Good listening also provides visitors with examples of how to properly handle interpersonal relationships. Through personal experience, the visitors learned the art of listening and improved their interpersonal relationships.

Listening to technical skills

Listen to technically good attitudes and habits

In fact, consultants' attitudes and habits are more important than specific skills. Because many of us develop a tendency in society to be willing to "speak" rather than "listen", and used to "speak" rather than "listen". People's ability to "obey" is worse than "speaking". There are several reasons for this. The first is that people tend to listen with a tendency to judge. They pay attention to what the other person says is consistent with their own values or opinions, so as to divide the other person into potential friends or outsiders. This may be meaningful for our normal interpersonal relationships, but this strong subjective tendency to "listen" will hinder consultation and make us enter the visitor's world with bias. Secondly, true listening is a very energy intensive task and requires full attention and not distraction. Thirdly, sometimes the speaker's words contain the effects of stimulating emotional reactions or triggering associations, which easily cause the listener to be distracted by the speaker's content. Finally, due to the influence of "noise" in information transmission, it leads to wrong listening and misinterpretation. The above situations require the consultant to attach great importance to it, avoid it as much as possible, and develop a good listening attitude and habit in practice. ^[2]

Listen to technology and feel where you are

The consultant should not only understand what the visitor expresses through words and actions, but also hear the voice outside the string, and hear what the visitor omitted and did not express in the conversation. For example, in the context of Chinese culture, sex is a very sensitive issue for many people. Visitors often only talk about fur or playing "scratching." Sometimes they want consultants to listen to questions and ask them actively. Sometimes what the visitor says is inconsistent with the actual situation, or the visitor avoids the importance, and consciously and unconsciously avoids more essential issues. Some visitors will desperately say that he has no worries and no major problems, and in fact may be ready to tell you what he thinks is important. Sometimes, many things the visitor has never experienced before. At this time, the consultant needs to imagine his situation as much as possible and understand it in order to understand the psychological response and experience experienced by the visitor, and to know how to help him get out of trouble.

Listen to technology and observe its words

Correct listening requires counselors to be alert and reasonable to the visitor's troubles, pay careful attention to what they say and do, pay attention to how the other party expresses their problems, how to talk about themselves and their relationship with others, and Respond to problems encountered. Attention should also be paid to the visitors' hesitant pauses, tone changes, and various expressions, postures, and movements that accompany the appearance of speech, in order to make a more complete judgment of speech. For example, the visitor said that he had forgiven his wife's fault, but when he said that he was emotional, his expression was angry, and his fists were clenched. We can tell from these non-verbal clues that the visitor did not actually forgive his wife's fault.

Listening technology appropriately participates and responds

There are five types of listening responses that consultants can use during the consultation process

(1) Encourage. The consultant uses verbal or non-verbal methods to give the visitor more information. This technique includes nodding, spreading hands, using affirmative phrases such as "hmmm", and repeating keywords in visitors' words. Paraphrasing is a deeper form of encouragement, which refers to repeating exactly two or more words used by visitors. In addition, proper smiles and concerns are the two main encouragement methods, which make the visitor feel more relaxed during the interview and thus express themselves more. Many researchers have found smiles to be "useful" as a basic way to express enthusiasm and cheerfulness.

(2) Clarification. It is a response to a question being asked by a visitor after the visitor sends an ambiguous message. It starts with questions such as "What do you mean ..." or "You mean ..." and then repeats the previous information from the visitor. The purpose is to encourage the visitor to describe in more detail and check what the visitor has heard. accuracy.

(3) Interpretation. The consultant will reinterpret the content of the visitor's information related to the situation, events, people and ideas, in order to help the visitor pay attention to the content of his information.

(4) Emotional reflection. It refers to re-explaining the visitor's feelings or the emotional content in the visitor's information. The purpose is to encourage the visitor to talk more about his feelings, help the visitor to realize his emotions, and help the visitor recognize and manage the emotions.

(5) Inductive summary. It links and reorganizes different content or multiple pieces of information, the purpose is to connect multiple elements of the visitor information together, determine a common theme or pattern, remove redundant statements, and review the entire process.

Listen to technical notes

Impatient listening, premature judgment, explanations, advice, and inappropriate praise and moral condemnation are the main reasons for failure in communication and consultation. Exaggerated preaching counseling is unlikely to succeed. Beginners often don't value listening, don't want to listen, and often make mistakes.

1. Eager to conclude: Beginners often don't have the patience to listen fully and often have the tendency to force themselves to solve problems and discover problems. Because they want to help the visitor too much, even beginners will ask the visitor a lot of questions in order to find a quick solution. They usually try to solve the visitor's problem within 5 minutes of the start of the meeting. This will lead the consultation talk astray and mislead the visitor's main problem. The visitor is misunderstood where it is most important to understand, and in the end it is only the end of the consulting relationship.

2. Despise the problem: Beginners have associations with similar experience when they hear visitors talk about a problem ("I have encountered this problem before"), and ask, speculate, and make prematurely and prematurely according to their established ideas. Explanation.

3. Shifting the topic: When beginners listen, they actually pay more attention to themselves. Often, the following situations occur: excessive "noise" such as irrelevant actions during the consultation process interferes with the visitor, or impatiently listens to the visitor to talk about the topic of interest, or ask questions to understand what the consultant is interested in , To shift the subject of the visitor.

4. Excessive value judgments: Immature consultants make excessive value judgments on the behavior of visitors. Such as "you are wrong", "you should be like this", etc. are not only taboos for listening, but also taboos for consultation.

5, the use of inappropriate counseling skills: beginners often use some inappropriate skills in the consultation, such as asking too much, too much overview and so on. Therefore, the participatory skills of the listening process are "you can ask and don't ask when you don't ask; you can say no when you don't."

Some consultants can clearly explain the reason for listening, but it is difficult to practice in actual talks because there are certain obstacles that prevent them from listening. There are three types of consultants who seem to have difficulty listening to the information of the visitor, as follows.

(1) Fanatic consultant. These consultants (psychological and physical) are so active that it is extremely difficult for them to sit down and listen to the stories of their visitors.

(2) Self-centered consultant. Although these consultants also care about the visitors, they always like to go their own way, so that the visitors rarely have the opportunity to tell their own stories.

(3) Self-focused consultant. These consultants appear to be paying attention to the visitor's appearance, but there are so many internal noises in their hearts that they do not really listen to the visitor emotionally. ^[2]