What Is a Non-Engagement Letter?

A magnificent masterpiece by Emily Boss, the American ceremonial queen; a ritual classic praised by the first lady Michelle Obama! Etiquette: Carving the Most Elegant You (2 Complete Sets) Since its inception, it has been revised and reprinted 18 times! "Ceremony: Carving the Most Elegant of You (2 Complete Sets)" opens a door for us. It not only shows the essence of the author's etiquette thought, but also gives us a complete picture of western etiquette culture. ^[1]

Etiquette: Carving the most elegant you

Right!

A magnificent masterpiece by Emily Boss, the American ceremonial queen; a ritual classic praised by the first lady Michelle Obama! Etiquette: Carving the Most Elegant You (2 Complete Sets) Since its inception, it has been revised and reprinted 18 times! "Ceremony: Carving the Most Elegant You (2 Complete Sets)" opens a door for us, it not only shows the author's etiquette ideas

Foreword Politeness and Morality Chapter 1 What is an Ideal Social Counterfeit and Authenticity / 1
Chapter 2 Introduction to the Principles of Fuji / 3 / Common Ways of Introduction / 3
Formal and grand introduction / 7when to introduce / 8
Introduce yourself / 11When not to introduce / 12
Conversation Without Introduction / 12
Chapter 3 What to say / 14 When to shake hands / 14 How to shake hands / 15
When to get up / 16 Young people greeting seniors / 16 Forgotten names / 17
Chapter 4 Polite Greetings Informal Greetings / 18 Public Greetings / 18
Answer to "How are you" / 19 Intentional "harm" / 20 Breakup / 20
Chapter 5 Walking on the Street and in Public Places
Men First / 23 Women Do Not Sit Left / 23
Smoking in public places / 24 Problems with paying bills / 24
Life in the downtown / 25 Be considerate to you / 28
Chapter 6 At Public Rally Theaters / 29 Cinemas / 31 Movies / 34
Circus, ice show and shepherd's arena / 35
Chapter 7 Don't panic when talking! Nothing terrible! / 37 "Think Before You Think" / 38
Pleasant talk / 39 taboos / 40 unpleasant typical / 42
Remember a few principles / 44
Chapter 8 Usage and Meaning of Words, Phrases, and Pronunciation Words / 47 Pronunciation / 51
Accumulating pleasant words / 53
Chapter 9 Use of Names and Titles / 55 Children and Adults / 56
Title to husband and wife / 57 Safe title / 57
Occasions where names are not allowed / 58 Introduce yourself / 58
Use of PhD Title / 59
Chapter 10 Business Cards and Visits Legally Changing Names / 59 Business Cards / 60 Informal Business Cards / 67
Business or professional visiting card / 67 visits / 69
Chapter 11 Invitations / Acceptances and Gratitudes Cancel and Request Invitations / 79
Accept and thank you / 80
Chapter 12 Characteristics of a Well Decorated Home / 89
Servant position / 92
Master-slave relationship / 106
Chapter 13 Afternoon Tea and Other Afternoon Activities Tea Party and Reception / 111 Cocktail Party / 114 Buffet Dinner / 120
Barbecue Party / 129 Other Informal Rally / 133
Chapter 14 Official Banquet Official Banquet / 144
Formal Banquet for Private Family / 148
Chapter 15 Informal Banquet Banquet or Buffet / 178 Preparation and Planning / 179 Invitations / 179
Arrange guest seats / 185 Suggestions on menus / 186
Choice and service of alcoholic beverages / 187 Dining table setting / 187 Welcome guests / 189
Informal waiter / 189 After-meal coffee / 193Guest information for guests / 193
Chapter 16 Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner Prepare Family Meals / 195
Luncheon / 199
Chapter 17: How and Where Prom Etiquette Starts / 205 Large Prom in a Private House / 207
Decoration / 207 guest arrival / 208 round master and hostess / 208
Well-rounded guests / 208 Useful hospitality / 209 Dancing program / 209
Etiquette for guests / 210 Waiting dinner / 211
Chapter 18 and the period of and Prom / 213 Dinner Prom / 215 Tea Prom / 215
Rally, Eight, Prom, Community, and Prom / 216
Father's role / 217 and / 217
"Girls in the Prom" Matters to Note / 217
Chapter 19 Informal Prom Etiquette Evening Dance / 219 Tea Dance / 220 Outdoor Dance / 221
The importance of good music / 221 the courtesy of dancing / 222
Chapter 20 Engagement The Future Groom And His Expectant Father-in-law / 224 Engagement Rings / 224
Does the woman have to order the wedding
Man's parent visits woman's parent / 226 announces engagement / 227
Engagement banquets / 230 Engagement of men and women / 232
Should not date alone with other opposite sex / 233 length of engagement period / 234
Termination of Engagement / 235Buy Wedding Rings / 235
Wedding gifts / 236 Dowry purchase / 236
Purchase of porcelain, glassware and silverware / 239
Chapter 21: Preparing for Wedding Before the Wedding Arrangement / 245
Clothing in weddings / 264
Parties, Dinners, and Rehearsals / 273
Chapter 22 The task of the bridesmaid on the wedding day / 283 General hospitality / 285 The advent of the hour / 286
Arrange Divorced Parents Seating / 289 Last Minutes / 290
Wedding Ceremony / 292 After Ceremony / 293
"Orthodox" and "Reformed" Jewish Weddings / 295
Roman Catholic Wedding / 295 Reception / 296
Divorced father attends wedding / 301 they left / 302
Weddings in Special Cases / 305 Guests in Weddings / 314
Chapter 23 Christening Newborns / 322
Chapter 24. Funeral Steps Taken Immediately / 330 Honorary Executives / 334
Send wreaths / 334Condolence at the funeral home / 336
Who should bury the dead / 336 funeral ceremonies / 337
Church fees / 340 Thanks to mourners / 340
Obedience / 34l Behaviour of the deceased's family after the funeral
Chapter 25 Outdoor Activities Watching Professional Competitions / 345 Participating in Inter-School Competitions / 346
In public beaches / 346 parks and playgrounds / 347
Chapter 26: What kind of picnic / 348 You are the hostess / 350
Hot or cold food / 351 appliances / 353
A list / 354Leave a picnic place / 354
Chapter 27 Appearance and Genre of Sticky Notes and Text Messages / 355 Addressing Important People / 369
Contents of Business Letters / 371 Private Letters / 376
Chapter 28. Long Letters Everyone Wants to Receive / 389
Letters that should not be written / 390 start difficult / 391
Chapter 29 Introductory Etiquette Speaker / 394 Prepare Your Speech / 395
Impromptu speech / 397 Position of your hands / 398 Clothing for the speech / 398
Chapter 30 Clubs and Club Etiquette Becoming Members / 401 Country Clubs / 403
Visitors to the club / 405
Unbreakable Rule / 407 Exit Club / 408
Chapter 31 Games and Sports Happy and Unhappy Poker Players / 411
Various sports / 413
Various sportswear / 421
Chapter 32 Business and government etiquette Business etiquette / 429
Government etiquette / 438
White House guest notice / 444
Chapter 33 Ladies' dress Etiquette / Clothing / 448 Follow the fashionable person / 450
Vulgar Clothing / 451 Elegant Women / 451 Accessories / 451
Makeup & Hairstyling / 456Budget / 457 Day Wear / 458
Evening clothing / 460 in restaurants / 461
Professional Women's Clothing / 461 Your Travel Clothing / 461
Chapter 34 Men's Clothing Etiquette The Importance of Fit and Care / 463 Budget-conscious Men / 464
Daytime informal dressing / 465 daytime formal dressing / 467
Evening clothing / 469 coat and top hat / 472 shoes and socks / 474
Tie / 475 vest or vest / 476 jewelry / 476
Chapter 35 Fair Enlightenment Etiquette / 478 "Because Everyone Is This" / 479
Eating habits / 479 money problems / 48l child appearance / 481
Kids' Party / 482 Parents and Kids / 484
Obey the rules / 485 respect / 486
Chapter 36 Etiquette at the Etiquette Table / 487 Telephone Etiquette / 505
Restaurant etiquette / 512 driving / 522 for smokers / 529
Chapter 37 Etiquette Arranging Your Trip at Home and Abroad / 533 Motels and Hotels / 537
By plane, train or ship / 547 etiquette for overseas travel / 555
Chapter 38 Cultivation and Promotion of Elegant Taste in the United States

Many people who criticize ceremonial books will sniff anything when they hear any disagreement with Moses' Ten Commandments. However, the Ten Commandments do not help these noble critics to avoid too much negotiation with certain neighbors, because in the presence of some neighbors, any gentleman is at a loss, and it is even difficult to defend his title as a gentleman. Although it takes superb skills to make their behaviors consistent with the Ten Commandments, and this technique seems to be always available, of course, the above remarks are by no means suggesting that there are higher standards of life than the Ten Commandments, but they are telling about people often This neglects the relationship between politeness and morality. Gentle gentlemen in romance novels have long been portrayed as unscrupulous degenerates, to the point that those who are informal can't believe that the manners are polite and untrustworthy; on the other hand, the uneducated dullness in sitcoms and romance The protagonist sets rudeness as a code of conduct that is not completely unhelpful. Therefore, the close relationship between non-violation of law and behavior that makes life more civilized deserves special attention. The Chinese sage Confucius totally disagreed with the view that virtue is not related to polite behavior. He believed that the two were inseparable. "Benevolence (that is, virtue) comes from the heart."
Some people mock that etiquette is just a set of trivial and authoritarian old customs. "Those who are saluting-saluting but not doing any good to others, how troublesome" these people seem to have forgotten to climb up from the primitive stage of humanity. In the course of the process, the interpersonal communication is extremely long and slow. Traditional customs were originally established to regulate the correct behavior of individuals and tribes. They are the rules of the game of life. If you want to "play this game" then you must follow the rules. In the days before humans needed drugs to treat indigestion, they hid in a corner and secretly enjoyed their own food, for fear of being seen by other stronger and hungry associates. The habit of eating in public also took a long time to form, and it was clear that this behavior was safe until everyone in the race knew each other and determined that there was enough food to meet everyone's needs. When dining together became fashionable and the etiquette at the table was about their image, they waged an unprecedented ascent. The habit of picking up hats when meeting acquaintances comes from an old rule, and friendly knights should take off their armor to show friendship when talking to each other. In the age of the Cavaliers, it is important to keep in mind that it is very important to know whether the person you meet is an enemy or a friend. If it is an enemy, it means a duel on the spot. Therefore, it is obvious that the traditional etiquette is not only to make the wheels of life rotate more smoothly, but also a safety measure in human interaction. Think about it, what would happen to the Paris Peace Conference or all conferences in Europe today without the self-defense armor of diplomatic etiquette!
For some, however, the word etiquette is a form of harassment, and these diligent opponents assure us that it means endless noise about trivial matters that are trivial. It is true that trivia is not important, but life is made up of trivia. For those who hate the word, it means that all the etiquettes are exquisite and flashy, they are too gorgeous decoration in the plan of life, and an obstacle on the way of a strong and brave country. For these people, etiquette and politeness are synonymous with weakness and timidity. The so-called true polite person is a dance master or a male businessman who sells female hats. They have always regarded France as the most polite country in Europe and the weakest. Country until the outbreak of the war made them eye-opener and shocked. In the following story, etiquette and war coexist.
During the war, several Frenchmen and people from several other countries of the Confederate army ate in a village behind the front line, and meals were served quantitatively. The army in that country was plentiful, and the soldiers snatched their share, stood up and gorged, and had no time to take care of others. The French soldiers took back a small portion of their food, used a flat rock as a temporary table, set their meals, and a bit of wine. This was part of a meal and they sat down comfortably , Enjoy the food in the chat. Just before the French soldiers started to eat, the soldiers of another country had already finished their large portions of food. One of them asked sarcastically: "They give you something to eat, are you so troublesome?" French "We are fighting for civilization, aren't we? Well, that's true. So we also want to eat civilized."
We add the word etiquette to the French, but the source of the common phrase "don't step on the lawn" in public places is ridiculous. This happened during the construction of the gardens of Versailles during the period of Louis XIV. The leader of the gardener-an elderly Scot is very distressed because his newly paved lawn is always trampled. To protect the lawn, he put up a warning sign next to the trail, saying "etiquettes" However, the ministers turned a blind eye to these signs, so the determined Scot complained to the king and finally convinced the king that he ordered all people in the court to "not allow to pass over etiquettes", and gradually the meaning of the word was expanded The rules of all correct behaviors have evolved over the centuries, and the term has been used to describe all rules and regulations that improve people-to-people communication and promote civilized behavior in social communication. With the decline of the feudal dynasty and the rise of the industrial kingdom, many rituals in life have been discarded or simplified and no longer formally grand. Pants and jackets replaced vests and leggings. The changes in clothing were not as radical as the changes in social ideas. The court was no longer the arbiter of etiquette, but the nobility was still a model of good education.
Even a man as sophisticated and materialistic as Sir Chesterfield understands the connection between politeness and morality (the latter is lacking in European courts), and in the famous Letter to Son he wrote: As large as the cornerstone of the friendship between two people, but politeness and elegance can add glory and strength to virtue. "He also said:" In the world, great success or failure makes you respect or Being despised, but trivial matters and little polite behavior, whether they are done or reflected, determine whether you like them. "Although Sir Chesterfield has always been He is wise and well-mannered, but his remarks have been accused of insulting "politeness and elegance". Because he downplayed them, thinking that both are just a means to career success. According to the research of ethicists, the fact that the moral standards of Sir Chesterfield were very different from those of modern times has aggravated his disgust. However, his fierce attacks did show that he was upright and candid, and many believe that his social strategy is still applicable today.
But in the world he lives in, the trend of democracy, equality, friendship and liberation is prevailing. With the vigorous development of the new password, the noble, elegant and well-educated ideas of the old era have become antiques, plated with gold, and displayed in Museum glass box. The rapid advancement of the industrial golden age ushered those court aristocrats and their complicated and elaborate elegance to the side, and people just focused on maintaining the balance of the accounting room books. The new order of things has continued to develop for a long time. In the first year of the twentieth century, the famous British social historian Russell wrote: "People of all ages in history love money, but a hundred years ago they never Talk about it publicly ...... a person's origin, upbringing, class status, achievement, outstanding contributions in literature, art, and public affairs-these are important things in society. But when it comes to omnipotent money When the forces are on the same scale, they are nothing more than a pile of dust, and money worship is a superstition peculiar to modern society. "Three hundred years ago in this sentence, during the heyday of Elizabeth, Ben Jensen downplayed money As a "layer of glory", he sighed: "Since money can buy anything, how fast all real fame and reputation has fallen!" Nowadays the fact that money has side effects on social organisms is constantly under attack, from the Bible From the beginning of the era, it has been confirmed that the aspirations of the human living system are controlled and controlled by good taste, high IQ, and perfect sentiment. However, with the great success of the business era, and with the advancement of modern science and invention, almost everything can be bought and sold, and almost everything is measured by money, which is also true.
However, this standard is not the highest standard of Christianity that we have been proud of for centuries. Nonetheless, no one can survive without money, and almost no one can survive only by what we are born with. At least we think so-because everyone seems to think so. The United States is one of the richest, most prosperous, and most promising countries in the world in material terms, and we are members of this country. From time to time, foreign observers have stuffed this idea into our minds, and we have defaulted to this criticism to the outside world. However, in private, every American is determined to catch up with the national average. Driven by this determination, hard work, no time to think carefully about the advice that Mr. Glaston gave to his citizens: "Respect those ancient virtues! Think about it, if the true essence of the chivalry in our hearts dies, then society All good things will be gone with it; keep a sane head and always believe that even in our best performance there are many mistakes hidden, and one day they will be exposed. "
The United States also has its own ancient virtues to be remembered and respected. However, as more and more people of other races are rapidly integrated into her economic and social organism, many issues that urgently need attention are constantly emerging. Some people believe that strengthening the promotion of good taste to perfect their behavior is the greatest help for ethicists, who have been warning people of the decline of the moral quality of the younger generation. Good taste may not allow people to have noble virtues, but it will help people to escape the so-called "occasional sins" of theologians. We also know that vulgar behavior is part of the rudeness of frantic attacks by fanatical reformers. In addition to vulgarity, there is also inferior selfishness. In old schools, selfishness was the most incompatible quality with worldly virtues. According to Dr. Puxi, he likes others better than himself, does not cause pain to others, does not ignore anyone, respects the weak and the elderly, and treats people with low status sincerely and modestly. This is the "goodness" of ancient virtue. He Adhere to "Acting in accordance with Christianity. In any case, if his soul is absent, it is like abandoning Christianity. As long as the beautiful watch case is still there, real life will be reinfused."
As a study of all respectable etiquette in American etiquette, as a guide to the correct behavior required in the simplest and most complicated situations in life, there is no better choice than this book. This book firmly believes that the broad meaning of etiquette is the skill of human behavior in any situation in life. All correct behaviors are included. Any tiny details are clearly explained. From the invitation to the mystery of eating corn, it is detailed, Precisely answered questions about men's and women's clothing, as well as problems encountered in decorating houses and precautions for social interaction. But this book does not exaggerate the small details at the expense of mental states that are more important in personal behavior and inner attitude. The author believes that focusing on trivial forms of trivia is like "measuring the size of letters on roadside signs and ignoring the directions they indicate", she also tells us that "not people who are wrong or wrong in technique It is not those who are blocked from a good social circle, but those who use shame and hypocrisy to embellish vulgar behavior trample on the flowers in the etiquette garden. " In her opinion, the development of etiquette is like building a house, based on ethics and morals, and built with good taste, correct speech, quiet posture, humble behavior, and proper self-esteem.
Whether or not you accept the wrong definition depends on the whole, part, or inexplainable content reflected by one's elegance, which easily reminds me of Mr. Colridge's interpretation of a gentleman. "We can feel the gentleman's character is with us," he said. "In social communication, no matter when and where they are, no matter how people communicate, the details are not irrelevant. When communicating, people naturally The exposed attitude towards trivia precisely shows the way people show respect to others, and this must also be the kind of respect he expects. In other words, the character of a gentleman can be traced back to an equality This kind of equality of spirit and habits applies to all classes, but it can also adapt to changes, but its changes will not weaken this spirit, of course, it will not be overkill. ; But we cannot find a corresponding definition of lady. Perhaps, it is generally believed that a lady must possess the character and standards of a gentleman, and at the same time be attractive to women.
The significance of this book is not only that it is a well-deserved authoritative code of etiquette, but also that it is a precedent for social literature in the history of American literature. In order to better understand educated behavior and their environment, the author of this book introduces real people and places in a realistic way. These characters and scenes all come from where the author lives. It doesn't matter whether we can gain insight into the pseudonyms in the book, such as Worldlys, the Gildings, the Kindharts, the Oldnames, etc. The important thing is that they fabricated it so much that it aroused our interest and an interpretation of their lifestyle. They happen to come to the so-called society, which is purely accidental, because, as the author said at the beginning: "The ideal society is not a collection of rich people, and it certainly will not abandon those of humble origins; but it It should be a place where high-level people gather, with elegant speech, charming politeness, rich knowledge, and instinctively consider the feelings of others, which is the criterion for society to choose its members. "