What Are the Characteristics of Self-Esteem?

Self-esteem, also known as "self-esteem" and "self-esteem", is an emotional experience of self-esteem, self-love, and self-respect generated and formed by individuals based on self-evaluation and requires respect from others, collectives, and society. Self-esteem is the psychological component of personality self-regulation structure. Self-esteem is divided into strength and weakness. Too strong can lead to vanity, and too weak can lead to inferiority. ^[1]

Chinese name: Self-esteem
Foreign name: self-esteem

Applied discipline: psychology
Application range: Personality psychology

Basic concepts of self-esteem

Self-esteem, or self-esteem, is the result of an individual's self-evaluation of his social role. Self-esteem is formed through social comparison, and is the result of self-evaluation of an individual's social role. Self-esteem is first manifested in self-respect and self-care. Self-esteem also includes the expectation of respect from others, collectively, and society.

Another view, self-esteem, is the affirmation of one's overall value. Influenced by social comparisons, evaluations of others, and self-affirmation of success or failure.

Factors affecting self-esteem

=÷ Self-esteem viewpoint 1: self-esteem = success ÷ ambition

W James, a pioneer of American functional psychology, proposed a formula for self-esteem in the book Principles of Psychology (1890): self-esteem = success ÷ ambition. Means: "Self-esteem depends on success, but also on the significance of the success achieved to the individual. Increased success and decreased ambition can achieve high self-esteem. Success may have many constraints, not easy to achieve, But we can lower our expectations for work and life so that a small success can make us happy. "

=× Self-esteem viewpoint 2: self-esteem = self-ambition × social respect

Self-esteem is just self-respect. It means neither bowing to others nor discriminating against or insulting others, but it does not mean that others respect the corresponding subject in reality. Self-esteem is manifested in two aspects:

1. Self-respect and self-care (self-ambition).

2. Expect others, the collective and the society to respect themselves accordingly.

People who are really welcomed and respected do not need self-esteem, because in this situation, "self-esteem" is a pity, and it will be despised by people. Therefore, many "fans" at the same time and situation In order to be worthy of "fans", they are often shown as humble, not proud, and even "inferior." (This also shows the inverse relationship between self-aspiration and social respect)

Healthy self-esteem has the meaning of self-recognition, while unhealthy self-esteem has the meaning of "forcing" people to recognize. Of course, only self-recognition can be recognized. This is the most important. This is the meaning of the actions of "Ji Hongchang listing in the United States to show that he is Chinese" and "Zhu Ziqing Ning died without the US relief food." It will also make people strenuous.

Due to the forced nature of self-esteem caused to others by inferiority or pure self-recognition, it also makes people with too much self-esteem inevitably have jealousy, vanity, self-esteem, or revenge. In the final analysis, this self-esteem that lacks the basis of outside respect is only the result of "inferiority". It is the result of the failure of others or society to give it a corresponding status in reality. "Self-esteem", which is called the relationship between implicit self-esteem ("inferiority") and explicit self-esteem ("self-esteem") in psychology. However, a person with healthy self-esteem must endure loneliness. Inferiority, jealousy, and vanity are all enemies on your way. Only by defeating yourself can you defeat the world.

In short, healthy self-esteem is not only the result of self-recognition, but also the result of social respect, but social respect is a continuous food of self-esteem, otherwise the so-called self-esteem is bound to be unsustainable.

Self-esteem viewpoint 3: Self-esteem comes from self-esteem needs (textbook)

Self-esteem comes from the need for self-esteem, including two aspects: one is the desire for achievement, advantage, and self-confidence; the other is the desire for reputation, dominance, and appreciation. The factors that form a sense of self-esteem are security, belonging, and achievement. These factors are related to the individual's external environment.

Self-esteem viewpoint 4: Self-esteem comes from social comparison

Psychologists believe that self-esteem is formed through social comparison. Each of us has an understanding of our own needs and we need to know that we are in a group and society

Self-esteem Position, so as to realize their own value. Sometimes, we can understand ourselves through some objective reference standards, such as observing our health status through observable indicators such as blood pressure, pulse, and temperature. However, most of the time, we don't have this objective objective criterion for reference, and we can only value ourselves by comparing with others. For example, we cannot estimate our height, weight, or weight by our height and weight. Whether a person whose height is 1.80 meters is tall or short, we cannot answer, because there is no objective standard to refer to. In some places, this person may be just a medium; in other places, this person may be a giant. A typical example is that most college freshmen will have this experience: In high school, each of them was very smart; but after entering college, they found that they were not so outstanding at first, just Just ordinary people.

Only comparison has self-esteem, without comparison there is no self-esteem. Generally speaking, there are two main ways of social comparison: one is to compare with people who are stronger or better than ourselves, which we usually call upward comparison; the other is to compare with people who are weaker or worse than us, we usually call Downward comparison. People often think that compared with people who are stronger than themselves, they will have negative emotional experiences such as jealousy, hostility, frustration, and compared with people who are worse than themselves, they will have positive emotional experiences such as superiority, satisfaction, and happiness. In fact, whether it is compared with people who are better than themselves or with people who are worse than themselves, it will not necessarily lead to positive or negative effects. The exact effect will depend on the situation.

In comparing with people who are better than yourself, if the comparison target is close to you or belongs to the same category, it will have a positive effect. For example, some people often say in front of everyone that they know a well-known person, or that a celebrity and their classmates or friends, etc., to improve their self-esteem. This phenomenon is commonly referred to as the radiation effect in psychology, that is, the good qualities of the comparative target will be radiated to itself, thereby stimulating a positive emotional experience. Conversely, if the comparison target is alienated, unfamiliar, or not in the same category, it will have a negative effect. For example, a woman of average appearance may feel embarrassed and reduce her self-esteem when walking with a beautiful woman she does not know. This phenomenon is commonly referred to as the contrast effect in psychology, that is, the gap between the target and the comparison target is felt, thereby generating a negative emotional experience.

These two situations also exist in comparison with people who are worse than themselves, but the effect is just the opposite. If the comparison target is closely related to or belongs to the same category, there will be a radiation effect, that is, the opponent's bad qualities will be radiated to himself, thereby reducing self-esteem; if the comparison target is alienated, strange, or not in the same category, It will have a contrasting effect, that is, feel better than the other party, thus improving self-esteem.

Self-esteem viewpoint 5: Self-esteem comes from shame

What kind of person is best? Psychologists believe that the ideal comparison target is someone who is close to and slightly better than himself.

(1) Self-esteem begins with knowing shame. With shame, one can restrain his behavior, do not do vulgar and mean things, and live with dignity;

(2) With shame, we will be ashamed of our misconduct;

(3) With shame, we will feel ashamed of doing the wrong thing;

(4) With shame, we feel guilty when we fail the expectations of others.

Being aware of shame and achieving self-esteem is a powerful driving force for one's progress. Only with self-respect and shame can you cherish your self-esteem and win the respect of others, otherwise you will never win the respect of others.

Sometimes, in the process of searching for self-esteem, we are often blindfolded by the shortcomings and shortcomings of our eyes, fail to see our own advantages, experience our own value, be disappointed in ourselves, and have a deep sense of shame. Growth is very unfavorable. "There is no shortage of gold and no one is perfect". The shortcomings of a person are not terrible. The key is to be able to treat themselves correctly.

Self-esteem perspective 6: Factors affecting self-esteem (textbook)

1. Parent-child relationship in the family;

2. Feedback on behavioral performance;

3. Choose to participate and promote strengths and avoid weaknesses;

4. Correct social comparisons based on the principle of similarity.

Self-esteem viewpoint 7: Factors affecting children's self-esteem (textbook)

1. Parenting style

There are four characteristics of parenting of high self-esteem children:

First, warm and caring, actively accepting the characteristics and needs of children, and enthusiastically participating in children's games and other activities;

The second is strict requirements, clear requirements, but no mandatory control;

The third is democracy, making decisions about children's affairs, giving children the freedom to express their opinions, and patiently listening to his opinions;

Fourth, lead by example and set an example for children.

2. Peer relationship factor

Building peer relationships and being accepted collectively are two important factors in a self-esteem experience. High intimacy of friends and high degree of collective acceptance are important needs for self-esteem. A sense of intimacy is conducive to the establishment of attachment and social support and helps to alleviate the effects of stress and negative emotions.

Self- esteem scale

Self-esteem

Guidance: This scale is used to understand how you see yourself. Please read the following sentence carefully and choose the option that best suits your situation. Please note that the answer here is what you actually think of yourself, not what you think you should be. There is no right or wrong answer or good or bad answer. Please describe yourself according to your real situation. Your answers will never leak to the outside, so you do nt need to worry about this at all. Please take care to ensure that each question is answered and that only one answer is selected. Thank you for your cooperation!

Options: A , Very B , Very C , No D , No

	Very much in line	meets the	incompatible	Very inconsistent
1. I feel that I am a valuable person, at least on the same level as others.	4	3	2	1
2. I feel that I have many good qualities.	4	3	2	1
3. In the final analysis, I tend to feel like a loser.	1	2	3	4
4. I can do things like most people do.	4	3	2	1
5. I don't feel much to be proud of.	1	2	3	4
6. I am positive about myself.	4	3	2	1
7. Overall, I am satisfied with myself.	4	3	2	1
8. I hope I can earn more respect for myself.	4	3	2	1
9. I do often feel useless.	1	2	3	4
10. I often consider myself useless.	1	2	3	4

Self-esteem profile and ratings

The Self-Esteem Scale (SES) is designed to assess an individual's overall feelings about self-worth and self-acceptance.

The scale consists of 10 items, and the convenience of measurement is fully considered in the design. Subjects directly reported whether these descriptions were consistent with themselves. There are four grades, 1 is very consistent, 2 is consistent, 3 is not consistent, and 4 is very different. The total score range is 10-40 points, the higher the score, the higher the self-esteem.

This scale has been widely used. It is concise and easy to score. It is a direct assessment of your positive or negative feelings.

Scoring suggestions

1. The description of SES scores and points in the Manual should be clearly stated as:

For 1,2,4,6,7,8 questions (forward scoring questions), 1 point for "very non-conforming", 2 points for "non-conforming", 3 points for "conforming", and 4 for "very matching" Points; for 3, 5, 9, 10 questions (reverse score questions), 4 points for "very non-conforming", 3 points for "non-conforming", 2 points for "conforming", and 1 point for "very matching". The higher the score, the higher the level of self-esteem.

2. Taking into account the differences between Chinese and Western cultures, change Question 8 to forward scoring. ^[2]

Self-esteem interpretation and norms

According to the normal model, give a situation evaluation of the total score, for example:

Your score for this quiz is: points; indicate your level of self-esteem (high, medium, low).

Self-esteem mental health

As mentioned earlier, self-esteem is the psychological root of human life, and it can keep a person's life healthy and complete. In the process of self-esteem acting on people, the most important thing is their mental health. That is to say, self-esteem initially affects a person, starting from its psychological response and mental health, and the incompleteness or completeness of life (especially the social life and psychological life of a person) directly originates from the mental health.

In social life, society always makes demands on people. But no matter what kind of requirements, no matter what kind of society, the requirements are basically the same, that is, people should be healthy, active and developmental, and people should appear to the public in a good image. So what is maintaining a good image of people? Impression finishing is an often effective method, but it is only a superficial one. The inherent and deep psychological mechanism of a person maintaining a good image is actually self-esteem. Psychologist Bednar.R. (1989) pointed out that everyone has a need to maintain a positive, healthy, and upward self-image. This need is a powerful weapon to prevent and avoid the harm and stress caused by the living environment. It is also the basic force for individual development. This is a concrete manifestation of self-esteem that enables people to better adapt to the social environment and buffer basic anxiety: self-esteem motivates people to pursue and present a good social image, so as to better adapt to the social environment. And good social adaptation is one of the important signs of mental health.

If self-esteem is inadequate or even lacking, people will not be able to treat their own and other people's evaluations properly, will not be able to respond to social environment requirements or events in a timely and appropriate manner, and will not be able to alleviate basic anxieties in life in a timely manner. In a nutshell, people cannot conduct social life normally. Therefore, people with insufficient self-esteem (that is, low self-esteem) usually present a bad self-image to the society, and specifically exhibit two types of behaviors or attitudes: one is self-harmful behavior or attitude, which mainly points to self. Its manifestations include self-violence, self-grief, self-pity, self-pity, self-respect, and even renunciation of life. The other type is narcissistic or self-centered behaviors and attitudes, which mainly point to others and the environment. It may appear irresponsible, indifferent, self-centered, hostile, attack others, retaliate against society, and other extreme behaviors and wrongdoings, and even embark on the road of crime. But no matter what kind of behavior or attitude, it reflects mental health issues. It should be pointed out that although a person with insufficient self-esteem does not exhibit a good self-image or social image, it does not mean that they do not have the need to maintain their good image. On the contrary, it is the contradiction between this need and self-image that leads to psychological imbalance and shows various unhealthy attitudes and behaviors.

Specifically, self-esteem is the psychological root of human life, and the need for self-esteem will inevitably become one of the basic needs that every individual life will have. Self-esteem needs, in a sense, the need to maintain a good self-image. However, the level of self-esteem depends on the interaction between the individual and the social environment. If this interaction is benign, the level of self-esteem can often develop higher; if it is malignant, the level of self-esteem tends to be lower, which is what we mean by insufficient self-esteem. When there is a serious conflict between the actual lack of self-esteem and the ideal self-esteem, psychological problems will follow. The Disparity Models proposed by the psychology community in the 1990s pointed out that the self-difference between the real self and the ideal self or the difference between the real self and the ideal self would lead to a general negative self-esteem and dysfunction (P253-271). In other words, a person with insufficient self-esteem often feels that on the one hand, the need to maintain a good self-image is very urgent; on the other hand, the displayed self-image is not satisfactory (to be exact, it cannot satisfy himself), The gaps and conflicts between the two motivate individuals to more and more pursue the emotional experience of self-respect. Unfortunately, in this pursuit, individuals with insufficient self-esteem often go to two extremes because of "congenital deficiency": one is because the gap between the two is too large, and the individual is unable to heal, resulting in a sense of acquired weakness. This leads to the first type of behaviors and attitudes mentioned above, namely self-harmful behaviors and attitudes; the other extreme is towards narcissism or self-centeredness. This is because the individual does not obtain the satisfaction of self-esteem through normal channels, but retreats to the current state of self-esteem and exaggerates and adheres to this state of self-esteem, thereby disregarding the requirements of the external environment and even deliberately confronting it. This kind of narcissistic self-esteem that looks like high self-esteem is essentially a weak or false self-esteem phenomenon. In fact, the individual's inner heart is extremely desperate for the respect and care of others. Many psychologists and educators have discovered this phenomenon. For example, Coopersmith refers to this self-esteem as "discrepant self-esteem." Brandon, the executive director of the International Association for Self-esteem Psychology, calls it "pseudo." The term "defensive self-esteem" summarizes the phenomenon.

True high self-esteem is a dynamic and balanced self-esteem. In other words, there is a dynamic balance between the need for self-esteem (or the need to maintain a good self-image) and the status quo (or current self-image). On the one hand, people with high self-esteem are often satisfied with their current status. They are confident in their own ability and value, even if this ability and value are not higher than others. Very satisfied, but not stagnant. On the contrary, it is because they are very satisfied and confident about themselves, so in life and work, they just show the good image that society expects, and the social environment naturally gives good feedback, so as to communicate with the society. The environment has formed a benign interaction, which has continued to improve and enhance its self-esteem. As Rosenberg pointed out, high self-esteem does not mean a sense of superiority. People with high self-esteem do not necessarily consider themselves better than others. They just can feel contented. High self-esteem does not include a sense of perfection (P50). Brandon also pointed out that self-esteem and self-esteem are the core of self-esteem, and they reflect the most basic elements of self-esteem (P19-20). This kind of self-confidence and self-affirmation makes people look at themselves and everything around them clearly with optimism, trust and cherish, so that they have good psychological quality and state. People with high self-esteem also have failures and disappointments, and their self-image and self-esteem need to create discordant conflicts, but they can be easily resolved in the benign interaction with the social environment. And quickly restore psychological balance, so as to maintain psychological harmony and health.

A large number of empirical studies have confirmed that self-esteem is closely related to mental health. This includes not only the lack of self-esteem (i.e. low self-esteem) and many important negative possibilities such as depression, anxiety, suicidal ideation, dysfunction, problem behaviors, etc., but also having sufficient self-esteem (i.e. high self-esteem) is often associated with positive Mental health is closely related to general psychological well-being.

This shows that self-esteem is the core of mental health and the source of psychological happiness. How this core state is directly related to the state of mental health: high self-esteem results in various manifestations of mental health due to good social adaptation, including healthy cognition, healthy behaviors, and healthy mentality; low self-esteem is due to social Maladjustment leads to unhealthy mental state and behavior.

Self-esteem and other related

Self- esteem

The psychological quality of self-esteem is not born, but gradually cultivated in life, study and work. To cultivate correct self-esteem, you need to do the following: first, find the fulcrum of personal self-esteem (the fulcrum refers to your outstanding strengths and strengths); second, you must have the right direction Collective, the country deserves self-esteem); In short, we must continue to inherit and carry forward the glorious tradition of the Chinese nation. We must consider the interests of the motherland in all our words and deeds. No one can harm the honor of the motherland and the dignity of the nation with his words and deeds. This is the national self-esteem that every Chinese should have.

Self- esteem self- esteem massage

First, you need to let the other party know that you are quickly attracted by his (or her) magic; then, during your conversation, you must let the other party feel the infinite understanding and identification that you really reveal. Starting from the third step, embellish your identity into daily life. Now, as the person you are looking at reveals more and more to you, from time to time you throw out implicit compliments in return. In the process, you can make a private joke and use other techniques to make him (or her) feel very unique. Finally, when the person you like feels you have fully understood how unique he (or she) is, it's time for you to throw out killer praise.

Self-esteem vanity

Vanity is the psychology of a person seeking too much surface glory and glory to win respect from others. This is what we usually call "too much pride". People with strong vanity often regard whether it is good for their personal honor and as the driving force to control their own behavior. They always regard whether others value themselves as a balance. Once others have negated their own words and expressions, they think they have harmed their own. Self-esteem can't stand it, this kind of psychology is unhealthy. A person with a strong vanity who has too much self-esteem but lacks self-confidence is often prone to a kind of jealousy, that is, he cannot tolerate others to surpass himself. Such bad emotions endanger people's physical and mental health, damage the relationship between political parties and classmates, are not conducive to personal growth, and can even cause very serious consequences.

Quotes about self-esteem

It is difficult for a person without self-esteem to get the respect of others.

Related books

Whether it is one's affirmation of one's own value or one's affirmation of our value, that is, self-esteem and being respected, are happy.

Self-esteem is not lightness, self-confidence is not complacency, and independence is not isolation. Xu Teli

Human beings have many noble characters, but there is a noble character that is the pinnacle of human nature. This is personal self-esteem. Suhomlinski

As long as you don't get discouraged, don't lose heart, don't give up, believe in yourself and respect yourself, you will feel the joy of self-esteem.

Self-esteem neither bows to others nor discriminates against or insults others.

One cannot be shameless. Shameless shame, shameless shame. -Mencius

Chu Lan was born in a deep forest. Zi Lu

It is not advisable to be arrogant in his magnificent spirit. Zhu Geliang

Go your way and let others talk! Dante

Examples of self-esteem

Self-esteem does not fold waist for five meters

Eastern Yuan Dynasty poet Tao Yuanming was a former Peng Ze (now Houkou County, Jiangxi). At the end of the year, the county guard sent a post to the county to inspect the county. The county official told Tao Yuanming that according to the official etiquette, the crown must be neatly tied and the belt tight. See the following courtesy. Tao Yuanming was accustomed to everything at will, and he was very informal, not to mention having high sentiment, so he sighed: "How can I bend over to the children in the village for the five meters of rice?"

Shevchenko

Shevchenko is a famous Russian poet. His poems express his love for his hometown and resistance to the Tsar. One day, the Tsar summoned him. The civil and military officials and the envoys bowed in tribute to the Tsar. Only Xie Fuchenke stood side by side, and the Tsar was furious and asked, "Why don't you bend down and bow?" Xie Fuchenke calmly answered: No I want to see you, but you want to see me. If I, like those around me, bend down in front of you, how can you see me clearly? "

Self-respect Yan Ying refuses to be rewarded

In the spring and autumn, Qi Guoxiang Guo Yanying was very talented and appreciated by the monarch. Although he is a powerful man, he doesn't talk about pomps and lives simply. Seeing that his house was small, low-lying and noisy, Qi Jinggong wanted to change him to a good house. Yan Ying said, this is where my father lived. I am sparse, and I live in a house like this. It is too much. How can I change to a new home? Seeing that he could not be persuaded, Qi Jinggong took advantage of the opportunity for him to embark on the mission of Lu Guo and advocated to expand his house. Yan Ying knew this after returning to the country, and refused to return to the suburban parking area until Qi Jinggong promised to restore the neighborhood houses and return to their old appearance. Qi Jinggong sent someone to bring him a Chinese car and a strong horse. Yan Ying insisted not to accept it. He said, "I cut back my clothes to set an example for the people, so that extravagant styles will not prevail. If we all have good clothes, our people will Imitating and pursuing pleasures leads to misbehavior. It would be difficult to ban it then. So I cannot accept your reward.