What Is Transpersonal Psychotherapy?

Suspicion is manifested in the process of communication. The tendency of self-involvement is too heavy. What is meant by self-involvement is that I always feel that everything else is related to myself, and I am too sensitive and suspicious of the words and actions of others. ^[1]

Suspicion

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Revelation 1: Don't be impulsive, think rationally

Suspicious people are usually very sensitive, and when they find some signs, they fall into impulsive emotions, and then think wildly, narrow the scope of ingesting information, and build all analysis, reasoning and judgment on the information that only proves their own assumptions. This is typical Of course, the circular proof method will be true and false, and thus justify itself.

When the idea of suspicion arises, you should immediately look for the cause of the idea. Before forming a cyclic thinking, you must actively introduce information from both sides, and not easily put forward a subjective unilateral basis for your doubt. When there are signs of doubt, you must control your chaotic thoughts, remind yourself not to think too much, remind yourself that others are not so bad, and treat the object of suspicion in half, and prove your suspicion without objective evidence Please stop doubting immediately.

Revelation 2: Open up and talk when misunderstood

In life, being misunderstood is normal. The key is that we have the ability and methods to eliminate misunderstandings. When you are misunderstood, try to resolve the misunderstanding as soon as possible, otherwise others' misunderstanding of you will easily turn into suspicion, and it may become worse and worse. Therefore, if you have the courage and sincerity, it is best to talk openly with those who doubt you, in order to understand how you have been misunderstood, so that you will pay attention to not make the same mistakes in future life. ^[1]

First, optimize individual psychological qualities. In other words, we must strengthen the cultivation of personal moral sentiment and psychological quality, purify the mind, improve the spiritual realm, and broaden the mind, so as to increase the trust of others and eliminate bad psychological interference.

Second, get rid of the shackles of wrong thinking methods. Suspicion always starts with an imaginary goal, and finally returns to it. Only by getting rid of the shackles of wrong thinking methods, expanding our thinking, and walking out of the dead end of "preconceivedness" and "according to the figure" can the suspicion disappear without self-confirmation and self-justification.

Third, open your mind and increase the transparency of your soul. Suspicion is often a psychological barrier artificially set by mindlockers. Only by being open-minded and publicizing the guesses and doubts deep in the heart, or talking face-to-face with the suspects, letting the doubts deep in the heart be "exposed", and increasing the transparency of the mind, can we obtain mutual understanding Understand communication, increase mutual trust, eliminate barriers, resolve misunderstandings, and get the most out of resolution.

Fourth, ignore the rumors spread by "Long Tongue". The fire of suspicion is often instigated by the "Long Tongue Man", which becomes more and more prosperous, causing people to lose their senses and lead to mischief. Therefore, when people hear the "Long Tongue" spread rumors, they must be calm, beware of being deceived, and if necessary, can be exposed in person.

Fifth, it is necessary to comprehensively analyze the long-term performance of the suspected object, and to discern all kinds of alienation plans. When we start to suspect someone, it is best to comprehensively analyze his usual behavior, experience, and performance of working with himself for many years. This will help eliminate false suspicions in the bud.

Suspicious people are usually too sensitive. Sensitivity is not necessarily a disadvantage. People who are sensitive to things are often very aura and creative, but if they are too sensitive, especially when they are interacting with people, they need to find ways to control them. The following methods can be used:

We are always prone to anger and irritability in certain special situations and under certain circumstances. We often think that this kind of thing is the most abominable, or that there is a problem with objective reasons, but we do not know-our negative emotions may be a continuation of trauma

Suspicion reduces anger

Many times, we will find that one small thing in life will make us particularly angry or sad, even though others do nt seem to react so strongly, or we will understand afterwards that the matter itself is not so serious.

A friend and her husband strolled the mall, and the shopping guide greeted them diligently and enthusiastically promoted one item after another. A friend didn't like this kind of sales method, and said to her husband several times: "Let's go!" But he didn't seem to hear it, and still followed the shopping guide around. The friend was furious, left her husband, and ran away all by himself. She has studied psychology and will pause for three seconds before losing her temper. As she strolled, she began to ask herself: Why am I so angry? It's because I feel neglected. In life, her husband is a person who values his wife's opinions. Why do I care so much about such a trivial matter?

She took the initiative to go back to find her husband and go shopping, but still wondering. She knew that this reaction was related to her past life experience. In adolescents who were under the control of their parents, her parents had strict requirements on her and must be obedient. She must not have any thoughts and feelings of her own. From then on, what she hated the most was that her loved ones did not respect herself, and she would make such a conclusion lightly.

Indeed, like this friend, inexplicable emotions permeate every minute of life. When we encounter someone or something we do nt like, we often complain that the objective environment is wrong, that the other party is too much, or that we are too stupid. However, perhaps this is not the most important factor, but the projection of our past feelings and values on this matter.

Suspicion is far from self

A person's overall mental state is a continuation of past experience. It is so strange. Many times, we think that many things have passed and forgotten. I have been excellent and perfect, but the feelings formed by everyone in the past will still be reflected in real life.

This influence must start in adolescence. Rankings in the family, school life, and cultural and historical background at the time all have a profound impact. The most important of these is the parent's attitude towards the child, and the family atmosphere formed by it, which has almost formed the foundation of a child's life happiness.

Parents' harm to their children is often unconscious and unconscious. Maybe it was not scolding, but it left a deeper mark than scolding. If the child does not feel the love of his parents in his childhood, no matter how much money he earns when he grows up and how high his status is, he may not like himself. Many girls with good looks, even if there are as many suitors around, she can't gain confidence.

This damage, the younger the age, the deeper the imprint. Just like the Russian toy "Mermaid", people see a strong appearance, but his inner self is still a small one.

Many young parents throw their children to the grandma's (grandma) 's house after giving birth, because they have to work and work, and they can't care. But the young mind instinctively depends on others, so the grandmother (grandma) becomes a "mother". When the child grows up, parents often bring the child to his side. What does mother mean at this time? Mostly it's just a symbol.

The most important thing is that tossing around itself will make children feel extremely insecure. When you grow up, you will have subtle changes in your psychology. Set up a wall for yourself, do not allow others to lean too close, and do not let yourself feel heartache.

In the future, he may show two tendencies in his relationship with his lover: Either he will be anxious about separation, bind his lover firmly around him, and find psychological needs in the other person. Either you are afraid of establishing a close relationship with others, and you are surprisingly indifferent and determined to separate from others.

Suspicious mental self-ability

Since growth encounters are so "passive", what can we do in the face of constant negative emotions? When we are unhappy, we often persuade others: just forget it! But how is that possible? It is hard to forget the pain of the mind. The often lingering nightmares, some kind of familiar scenes, are a kind of vague reminder.

A friend learned to swim at the age of 40-I clearly remember the first time he went into the water: his face was pale and his body was shaking. That was real fear. He almost drowned when he was a child. But he finally learned to swim! Defeated the ego. This is probably what is often said, "Climb up wherever you fall." It takes superman courage and strength. But in real life, "Superman" is rare.

Suspicion

The most feasible is to improve self-awareness. Self-awareness is not self-reflection and self-blame, but self-knowledge from an objective perspective. For example, ask yourself: Under what circumstances will I be unhappy? What is it that annoys me? You will find that most of your negative emotions are related to your past experience. When you understand yourself at this level, you reduce a bit of guilt and self-blame.

Of course, in similar situations, you may still lose your temper, but if you understand the reason, you will be more sincere when you apologize.

A psychotherapist talked about her own experience. During the "Cultural Revolution" period, her family suffered a great shock, and she has since cultivated her strong and unyielding character. She once overthrew a little boy who loved bullying-she never felt angry and protected the people around her Not bullied.

Times have changed and times have changed. She also grew up, got married, and had children. Once, she took her son downstairs to play, and suddenly found that the children were obviously bullying the son, and she became furious. However, he suddenly found out that his son was completely unaware, neither angry nor aggrieved, and continued to play with them casually. Yes, the child has been taken care of by his family since he was a child. He is safe inside and does not feel hurt, so he can face all this safely.

Afterwards, she said: If I had nt studied psychotherapy, I might rush to fight him, or blamed my son: "How are you so stupid!" My feelings and judgments will affect the child, leaving a mark on him, he When you grow up and educate your children like this, your brand will be passed on from generation to generation.

Whether you like it or not, everyone will have the "brand". If you are satisfied with your life, you can live so logically, but if you are always unhappy or always unhappy in some way, just Need to reflect, if necessary, you can also find a psychiatrist to help you look at yourself.

In the final analysis, to relax a bit and not to blame yourself is the basis for understanding yourself. Real emotions are difficult to control, simply let nature take its course. Isn't it? It is also because of so many unique growth experiences that each person's unique personality is created, and a colorful life is created. This is how the formation of personality is integrated. Think about it, if everyone is proficient in psychology and lives in accordance with the unified standard of mental health, is nt that sex the same? How tedious the world should be!