How Common Is Fear of Rejection?

Regardless of the experience of growing up, or the wrong perception of rejection, and the fear of conflicts after rejection, some people choose to become "Mr. Good" and endlessly and unconditionally agree to others' requests, but the impact of rejection on interpersonal relationships Is it really so bad?

Rejection: Don't let the embarrassment hurt you

Are you a good person in people's eyes? Does it matter how busy you are right now, as long as someone makes a request or invitation, no matter how much trouble, unpleasantness and high price it will bring to yourself, you will still receive everything in principle? Are there too many tasks beyond your ability to make you overwhelmed and feel like you're out of reach? Are all these things that satisfy others without making you truly happy?

At this point, is there any confusion in your mind: "I've done everything for others, and I'm so tired of vomiting blood, but why didn't I get people's attention? I'm so good to everyone, I ask and ask others , Always come, no one refuses, for their affairs, a lot of time and energy, but why do they take all this as a matter of course, have to make progress? What the hell am I doing this? "

Yeah, why exactly? Why should you sacrifice your time for the work of others and work hard? Is it to show your noble personal character, or to get a better relationship? People always do things for a reason and purpose. So what are your goals when you work so hard? If you look at the people in your life, you will find that many people have not tried their best to please others. They are also very popular. Instead, you are an old ox who is constantly busy for others. Why is that?

well! You will think about these problems, indicating that you are awakened. You finally realize that you are not a superman, you have limited abilities and can't handle everything. So you start thinking about your life, measuring your dedication and value. This is very good! Because when you realize this, your life will start to change.

The confusion that exists in your heart can not be answered in a few words. You can understand all this by reading this book. The book has its own answer. We believe that the best and easiest way to resolve the confusion in your mind is to refuse! Yes, just refuse: Say "No" to things you don't want to do, "No" to things you can't accept, and "No" to things that violate your principle of being a man. By bravely rejecting, restore your normal life order and work rhythm.

Human energy and ability are limited and cannot be exhaustive. You can help others and help others, but pay attention to what you can do, and stop if you can; otherwise, you may be in trouble and uneasy. For others' requests and requests that are unacceptable, we must boldly refuse. Remember, in your life you are the master, you have the right to choose and decide what you want to do, you can say "no"!

It takes courage to accept one thing, and it takes courage to reject one thing. Many times we just lack such courage, or worry about offending people, or because of emotional relationships, we are embarrassed to say "no", so we reluctantly agree to others' requests or requests, which makes our hearts very unpleasant. For this reason, some people have delayed their own affairs, some have sacrificed their time, and some have even overworked. Who would have thought that all this was caused by ignorance of refusal.

From this perspective, refusal is really a capability, a capability to say "no". Since it is a capability, we can improve it through learning and training. The purpose of this book is to improve people's rejection, hoping to help people get out of the psychological trap of being unable to refuse, and eventually be the master of themselves through innovative ideas and learning rejection skills.

This book is mainly for those who are troubled by refusal. If you do not have trouble of refusal, you enjoy your current life, accept the demands and requests of others in your life, and can do your best. Others complete tasks and assume the responsibility of others without the slightest complaint and confusion, then you have no need to read this book, because your character is infinitely close to the saint, there is no trouble of not knowing rejection, barely reading the book, but Will disturb your peaceful lake of heart, increase your troubles.

The principle of this book is to never force people to accept ideas, and never force their families to do something. Everything starts on the premise of willingness, and you will never be forced to accept it. When reading this book, if you find the viewpoints and practices in the book difficult to accept, then I hope you can bravely reject them, take the initiative to choose and adhere to your own path, and be the master of your own life.

In addition, the book advocates a spirit of independence, rather than simply teaching life skills. If you just want more life skills and so-called interpersonal wisdom, then this book may not be the best choice, so I hope that readers choose carefully. After reading this book, if readers can understand the independent personality and the spirit of autonomy, so the pursuit of independence and autonomy is the author's greatest wish.

This is a book about psychology, a book about life, a book about work, a book about growth, a book about autonomy, and at the same time, it is an interesting book because it It will help us discover some interesting events around us. After reading this book, you will see many common things in work and life, which are far-reaching and interesting.
Most of the troubles in life come from premature consent, too slow to decline.
Are you used to following others' orders or intentions until you break yourself down?
Are you a leader who can bear hardships and do heavy work? So your workload is the biggest, and there is always work that can't be done overtime?
Are you a good person who has the responsiveness in the eyes of the public?
You take great care of your loved ones and always put others first. You ca nt say no even if you suffer or suffer.
Refusal is an ability to grasp early and less pain.
This book provides you with a set of skills that do not hurt each other's self-esteem without embarrassing yourself, or you can call it art. They can teach you to make rejection simple and natural.

Li Jin, for everything in life, likes to study carefully and explore the mysteries behind it. He pays special attention to anecdotes in daily life, and has his unique insights into various embarrassing and rare things in life. He is passionate about the study and exploration of psychology, and is full of passion for the development of personal life awareness. I love reading and writing. Every word I write is aimed at gaining confidence, courage and dignity. Personal motto: Let us wake up from the dream and see the true self! ^[1]

Chapter 1 Why We Always Promise What We Don't Want to Promise

Life can be said to be a process of constant rejection and rejection of others. Interestingly, the ability to reject is tied to confidence. People who lack self-confidence and self-esteem are often upset about rejecting others and have a tendency to feel that their needs are more important than their own.

Reason 1: The "good person complex" for making troubles 003

Reason two: hope to get approval from others 008

Reason three: giving becomes a habit 013

Reason four: think hard work is credit 017

Reason five: I am not strong enough 021

Reason 6: Excessive love and dependence 026

Chapter 2 "Old Man" Is a Disease

For some people, social life is as good as water, and some people develop social anxiety. One of the reasons is to show face and fear that they will be rejected in social situations. At the same time, they dare not refuse others' requests for themselves. This kind of social anxiety is a perfect example of dying face and suffering.

01. The consequence of disobeying is pain 033

02. Barely get happiness 037

03. Too much worry is an annoyance 041

04. There should be a limit to patience 045

05. How can there be no principle 047

06. You are not a sage 051

Chapter 3 Keep Your Distance, Rejection Rise Naturally

When there are few people in the car, we usually find an entire row of seats to sit down. If there are more and more people in the car and people have to stand in the car crowded with each other, you will find that people and people are standing back to back, eyes are looking out the window, the body posture is contracted, for fear of being with others Touch.

01. Moderate distance produces beauty 057

02. Kindly let people see you 061

03. Psychological distance with attitude 064

04. Don't let emotions prevail over reason 068

Chapter 4 How to Reject Without Harm The Other

In the face of unreasonable, improper, and beyond our ability, rejection is unavoidable. Being rejected by others is not always a pleasant thing, and it can also make people feel unhappy and disappointed. This emotion is closely related to people's attitude and language expression when they refuse.

01. Sometimes only one explanation owed

02. Proper "shield" 077

03. Telling Your Difficulties 081

04. Reason for refusal 085

05. We must take care of each other's feelings 088

Chapter 5 Learn to Use Body Language to Improve Rejection

Understand that rejection is a skill, but also a skill. Rejection is a signal to the world that you know how to express your point correctly. You have your own needs, expectations and priorities; you also value and respect the needs of others. You know how to satisfy yourself and how to make others happy.

01. "No" in body language 093

02. Avoid eye contact 098

03. Small action to strengthen rejection 102

04. Make good use of space to increase rejection 107

05. Make the other person feel uncomfortable 111

06. Unfavorable rejection 115

Chapter 6: Some Tips That Don't Annoy Each Other

Refusing others is an art of contingency, and "refusing to be decent" is the highest state of art. Not being warm can let the other party retreat, and it can make people feel smooth. It is really a brilliant wisdom in life.

01. Euphemistic refusal to make the atmosphere not embarrassing 121

02. Humor rejection, let the other party lose face 125

03. Compensate each other, he is still happy after being rejected 129

04. Express sympathy and soothe each other's emotions 133

05. Refusal is not owed 137

06. Slacking off at any time, refusing to be attached 141

Chapter 7: "Strange tricks" to let the other party give up automatically

There are always people and things surrounding you in life. People's financial resources and energy are limited and cannot be comprehensive. Therefore, people who do not understand rejection often put themselves in a dilemma. At the same time, it is easy to make mistakes and make the other person dissatisfied. Not flattering.

01. Silent response, silence is the best refusal 147

02. Intercept refused, preemptive before the request 151

03. Delay the processing and wear off the patience of waiting 155

04. Detours, gaining initiative on the topic 159

05. Prepare early and block trouble outside the door 163

06. Using the environment to create a sense of psychological pressure 167

Chapter 8 Several Points of Successful Rejection

Rejection is a kind of courage, rejection is a kind of courage, rejection is a kind of wisdom, and rejection is a kind of awareness of conscience. If a person does not have the ability to refuse, it means that there is no self, no rigidity, that means giving the soul to others, it means no ability to distinguish between good and evil.

Point 1: Maintain Respect 173

Point Two: Don't Be Ambiguous

Point Three: Don't Always Think About Face 181

Point Four: Don't Forget Things Within Your Points 184

Point Five: Don't Let Your Words Open 188

Point Six: Don't disclose personal preferences 192

Point Seven: Using Irresistible Voices 197